My wedding and everything...

It was Oct 3rd 2010, and it was my wedding day...When my ex-boyfriend (my hub) promised (berikrar) for taking care of me and live with me for the rest of our life. It was a moment when my life has taken steps into the next chapter of life, becoming a wife. It was not easy considering we are two people with the same ego and we were both the elders in our family so that it was kind of a shock therapy of adjusting our character in our marriage life. We were happened to be same actually, that was we never realized :) But now...deep deep deep (3 is a charm) in my heart, I feel very blessed for having him in my life. Despite of everything, he taught me everything to prioritize my family, my work, and my life. He is unbelievably patient and always accepting my condition. He is a heavenly partner in life of mine.

I was pregnant, and he was very caring, he always protect me and gave advises and again loving me. My parents-in-law the are the best also my brother in law, the best! It was July 24th 2011, on Sunday, my mom was visited me, my mother in law also visited me, what a coincidence right..was it a sign? yes! and my lovely son in my belly was gave me a signal that he has ready to come out and see the beautiful world (dramatic!) :) I feel so blessed what was missing when two parents are gathered and ready to accompany me while I was giving birth. It was 4 in the afternoon and my heavenly gift from Allah or titipan dari Allah SWT was born. He was really cute and chubby and big 3,95 kg and 49 cm long. He was  on my chest and I never stop grateful to Allah that my baby was safe and healthy. He is perfect. Amin.

Along the way...I stayed at my parent's house because I need to be taught how to take care of everything formy baby. Like shower him and how to treat him as a new-born baby... I really need that, because I am clueless! for sure, honestly! And my mom was amazing she always there for me and I could never forget my sister, she was and always there, she still there to help me whenever I need a hand. I could never know how she can live with that. Stay up till late at night to watch for my baby and back in the afternoon. she was everywhere and every-second I need her. How come I never grateful for that.

When I was assigned to work in canada for a month, It was really hard because I have to live apart from my son for a month. which I never being apart from him even out of town..but out of country, continent...this just crazy, my heart was falling apart in the third week, I could never concentrate on the work and always keep thinking why I took this decision of leaving far away from him. I do remember, this is just a small step to do an investment for my son, I want him to have a better life and seeing another side of the world so he could learn a lot in his life.

I was back and he was fine and never been that better since I left from day-1, he still cute, healthy, chubby, and genius!. I love you my syanu. It was a valuable experience I had and more friends from all over the world. x

My beautiful life..

I don't understand why I always feeling unsatisfied and so not blessed, maybe because I was born so close with my younger sister, so I didn't get enough attention during my childhood. But I just realized how my mom was struggle on that day. After being a mother, I could feel what she has through all those years. First, she gave birth of me by herself, alone, without my father, because he was working in Jakarta an my mom still works as a honorer teacher in Surabaya. This putting me into tears, how come a woman without holding her husband's hand gave birth and she was fine with it. She said that, it was ok, instead of making my fathers freaked out, she rather told my father after she's not panic and the baby has cleaned and nice. I just knew while she was becoming a new PNS a teacher in Jember, she has to nurture me with her landlady in malang, while she was working in school, better than happened to be the maid right :) She told me stories that she's still nursing me when she was pregnant. And again, she was giving birth alone of my younger sister without anyone...i repeat..none of her family was there because it was the national holiday (everyone should attend the flag ceremony at their office). My father was rushing to move my mom to Jakarta because he felt that the condition is not good for his little daughters and of course his exhausted loving wife. Finally, it was the day that my parents are moving in and take both of me and my sister to Jakarta. My mom was a hard-worker, and raising two little girls while she was surviving for living in Jakarta when she still a new PNS (lower paid at that time), she really is a fighter. 

Me and my sister are very unique, we didn't get along really nice since we were little, I was a bit harsh with her because always grabbed her dolls while she were playing with them and that made her cried successfully. She always complained that why she always gave everything to me, why not me as the old one. I was never thought that through, what do you expect..I'm still a kiddo. But I admit that I was a little bit selfish and jealousy also..never accept people are better than me, that was before I never been grateful to Allah. I always see people are better than me, because of that, I don't have self confidence and again..never being grateful. But after I went to malang to study, my relationship with my sister has changed gradually. Because we hardly seeing each other, we felt lonely and don't have other people to talk to, which we never realized that when we were so close at home. Funny, we were having 1 book and always trade stories in it. The book was brought by our dad or mom who visited me alternately while I'm in Malang. It was funny that we had fight a lot when we were so close in Jakarta. And missed each other like crazy when we were apart. 

The climax is when I was going abroad to US to continue my masters at Ohio University. I felt like my world was turn upside down when I left my family and my beloved boyfriend (which happened to be my husband now xoxoxoxo). The first three months was very hard for me. I missed my family like hell, but luckily my roommate was very genuine helpful and care for me so much. The next months and year was fine and turns to be better and perfect when I graduated in time after I finished all the works. I still couldn't understand why I never becoming a grateful person :). But not anymore,,,I feel very blessed now having the amazing parents, the best sister and brother in the world. Having the best husband in my life, the only one! and the heavenly grace son ... syanu arafka pratomo, he has lightened up my life and giving me the most valuable lesson by being a mother I learned a lot and more thankful for what Allah SWT has given me for my life. It was more than enough and more than I asks...

Syukur Alhamdulillah kupanjatkan doaku padamu Ya Allah Ya Rahman...Maha Pengasih.Amin.x